This is about the time of night where I think of all the things I’ve done wrong, all the people I miss, all the decisions I should have made differently, all the things I should have said, everything that I could have done that much better.
I guess everybody thinks about these things before they go to bed.
But I don’t know if it makes everyone as nervous as it makes me. If everyone else is as upset as I am right now. If everyone else is in a panic, or feels sick, or is at the end of their rope.
I can’t change any of this. And I can’t see myself feeling much better.
I’m just so sick of being so stressed. I’m so sick of replaying all the things in my life that I’m unhappy with. I’m sick of never knowing what I should do or how I can make myself feel any better.
But mostly I’m sick of crying. I used to never cry. Now every little thing, and I mean every little thing, makes me cry.
I just hate lying here night after night, my anxiety creeping in, never getting sleep anymore, and always feeling so unhappy.
